Impressed by video games: Part 2

Sony's Dual Shock Controller

The Playstation 2 had a sweet controller. If you mated it with the Dreamcast controller it would give birth to the XBOX controller. Age that a bit and you get the 360 controller which is, in my opinion (fact), the greatest console controller ever. But back to the PS2's. There is something special about it. Is it the analog face buttons? No but that is pretty cool. MGS3 is the only game I've played where mastery of those buttons is essential. What truly impressed me was it's two analog sticks. Growing up with an N64 and Dreamcast I was only used to having one. Those things are cool and this post is dedicated to them.

GTA: Vice City (2002)

Do you see what Tommy is doing in that photo? He's crouching. How did he get that way? Someone pressed L3. The stick is also a button. No way! That freaked me out. It's like they wanted another button but instead of just throwing it on (I'm looking at you XBOX's black and white buttons) they worked with what they had. (picture taken from IGN)

Devil May Cry (2001)

Devil May Cry makes another appearance as a game that impressed me. It did, in fact, impress me a lot. Just not enough for me to keep it. I traded it in for Pokemon Snap. So worth it! Anyway, using both of the sticks, Dante can move in one direction and shoot in another. That is awesome. If they made games now where you couldn't do that, everyone would be disappointed. I doubt this is the first game to feature such a thing but it's the first I remember playing. Excep maybe Apocalypse. I'm gonna reference that game again, just wait for it. (Picture from IGN again. Totally taking advantage of them)

Katamari Damacy (2004)

This game is so much fun. The only area where it really disappoints is the multiplayer but I believe they improved that in the sequel. You use virtually just the analog sticks in the game. There is some button pressing for the menus and you press the shoulder buttons occasionally for the camera but other than that it's just the sticks. And it works too. It does take some getting used but once you get the hang of it it's super fun. Yeah, super fun.

Rise To Honor (2004)

In rise to honor you play as an undercover cop. The character is modeled after Jet Li. It's like what they did with Bruce Willis in the game Apocalypse (I told yeah I was gonna mention it again). The game is mostly a beat em up game but what makes it special is how you fight. There is no kick or punch button. You move with the left stick and you attack in a given direction by tapping the right stick. I found this to be very original and it works pretty good. The times in beat em up games that are the most frustrating are when you are surrounded. In this game, it's when it's fighting system shines. Just tap the stick in each opponent's direction and Jet Li will perform an expertly choreographed martial arts sequence.

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (2001)

If ever there was a game that people thought was great but all they can do when talking about it is bitch and moan it would be this game. Yes, you have to play as Raiden. No, you are not going to play as Snake for the rest of the game. Better graphics and superior game engine but why can't I play as Snake? I feel like this game was why they made Twin Snakes for Gamecube. Back on topic. Raiden is holding a sword (which you get way too late in the game). All weapons are controlled with the square button except for the sword. It uses the right analog stick. tap right and he swings right. Down and you get a downward slash. Push R3 to thrust. It is super intuitive and it is probably the best sword controls in any game I have ever played. Impressive? Oh yeah!

My Favorite Restaurant

I recently ate there and came to that conclusion. Please note that I said "my favorite restaurant" and not "my favorite place to eat." I would feel strange calling Arby's a restaurant. Yeah, so I used the word "favorite." I'm prepared to back up my statement.

(French)-Canadian blood runs through my veins so I have a natural draw towards this steak house. The food is pretty good as well. Anyone will tell you though, presentation and atmosphere are just as important as the quality of the food. I could eat the best steak I've ever had, but if it's in a place with pop garbage blasting on the speakers and there are pictures of hairy naked dudes up on the walls, I'm not likely to revisit the establishment.

Let's discuss what you eat with. I had a salad. Don't freak out, it came with my steak. It was a wedge salad which, for those of you who don't know, is the manliest of salads. It's a quarter of a head of lettuce with dressing and bacon on it. And I'm not talking leafy lettuce. Oh no. This is the good stuff. Iceberg lettuce. Nothing but green, water, and crunch. No leaves. What makes the salad so manly you might ask? You absolutely have to use a knife to eat it. A salad that requires A KNIFE! This salad knows you're responsible, and it wants revenge! They don't give you just any knife there. I wielded a weapon the length of my forearm.

For a drink I merely had a water. I could have had something manlier like a beer or a mug of gravy but I just felt like ice water. In order to make sure I didn't feel any less like a man, Bugaboo made sure their cups are of thick glass with a handle. Why a handle? So I can make a fist while I'm drinking!

My steak was good. Tender, moist, and salty (but not in a bad way). The fries were good too.

Then there is the best part. Animatronic animals! There is a moose, a bison, and, during the holidays, a tree. If it's your birthday they bring out a puppet of a moose that you're allowed to get to first base with. One might think I would be into that. I do love puppets after all. I just don't feel comfortable doing it with everyone watching. It's like, it just loses the intimacy.

Bugaboo Creak = Pretty cool place to eat.

Terrible Movie Sequels

Now it's time for the bad movie sequels. A lot, more likely most, movie sequels are not as good as the originals. I would say it has to do with people just wanting to milk the franchise for more money. Anyway, what qualifies a movie for this list is not that it is not as good as the original, but that it is so bad it should never have been made. Also I should clarify, these are all movies that I have seen. There are some worse ones out there but they have not been viewed by yours truly.

Conan the Destroyer (1984)

Sequel to the best sword and sorcery movie ever made. Low fantasy at its finest. How could the sequel to Conan the Barbarian be bad? We still got Schwarzenegger as Conan. We still have Mako playing whoever he's supposed to be. Unfortunately those are the only good aspects of the movie. They got Bob from Batman as a coward who stabs people in their kidneys and Grace Jones as an extremely annoying amazon-type lady. As a side note, there is a picture of her on the inside of the DVD cover where her boob is exposed. Who let that one slip? Get it, slip? I'm hilarious! So yeah, Conan fights a guy wearing like half of a gorilla costume. Also they try to turn up the humor which is a mistake in a movie like this. Awful.

Die Hard 2 (1990)

Tough cop gets stuck in a building full of terrorists. Awesome. Now he's at the airport. Not anywhere near as cool. I've been to that airport and nothing like that happened when I was there. What are the odds that something like this would happen to the same guy from the Nakatomi building incident. At least with the third movie, which I admit I have not seen, it connects to the first one. Whatever. Did you know they made a video game based on John McClane being an older guy having to rescue his then police officer daughter? It's true.

Neverending Story 2 (1990)

Falkor cannot support an entire movie by himself. New Bastion, new Atreyu, new child-like empress, and Rock Biter has a baby. No, no, no, and no. The movie itself is based on the original book, somewhat. The end product is just bad. The villains in it are super lame. There's Xayide who is the boss and she's all cunning and tempting. That's cool enough I guess. Her main assistant is a rip off of He-Man's Man-E-Faces and her spy is a chicken-man. Seriously, a chicken-man. Next movie.

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

I have to admit, killing off Johnny Cage in like the first five minutes of the movie made me think it was gonna be really good. It sucked though. Sub Zero came back and I think Scorpion too, I don't remember. Didn't they die in the first movie? Yeah, in this one they are like brothers with the same name or clones, I don't really know or care. Raiden gives up his powers, Jax somehow fights better without super-human cyborg arms, and for some reason, even though they make robots and cyborgs, no just takes a gun and shoots people. Once you introduce robots, ninjas are no longer that special. Even freezing ones.

Batman and Robin (1997)

I count this one as a number two sequel because it is the second one by Joel Schumacher. Batman Forever came out and we all had a good laugh but his play time was over. He should have left the franchise alone. Now come on, is it that bad? Let's just take a look. My favorite Batman Villain, Bane, was ruined because they made him a dumb brute instead of a criminal genius. My second favorite Batman villain, Mr Freeze, was ruined because they turned a misguided skinny scientist into a jacked guy who can't stop making ice puns. Batman was ruined because the Bat suit had nipples. Poison Ivy is not really a "movie caliber" villain. Batgirl was completely changed and introduced so late in the movie that no one really cares. What did she do anyway? This was made so shortly after Clueless I was expecting Batgirl to break out a cellphone and say "whatever." Robin was always lame, there's no way this movie was gonna make him cool.

Awesome Movie Sequels

This week's topic is movie sequels. Today I'd like to mention five movie sequels that were awesome. These movies were so awesome that I consider them to be better than the first movie. Also, as a point of clarification, I'm only counting movies that came after the original as "sequels." Here goes.

Hellboy 2 (2008)

I have already confessed my love of this movie so I don't think it requires any more. It's a solid movie. It has comedy, action, romance, and elves. It rules.

Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981)

Two words to state how this movie is better than the original: Lord Humungus! That's how it is spelled, don't worry. This is an example where the villain makes the movie. Lord Humungus is way cooler than Toe Cutter. Supremely jacked dude wearing a hockey mask? Awesome! Also worth noting, this movie was a bit more "post-apocalyptic" than the first one. What kind of post-apocalyptic society has towns, vacations, and modern law system. The 'Wheel" from Mad Max 3 is a post-apocalyptic style of law, not the ridiculous, "we don't have the evidence" or whatever the excuse was in the first movie.

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Battle on Hoth, better lightsaber fight, more character development, Lando, Yoda, and one of the best movie twists of all time. Empire is awesome. As a side note, my spell check has nothing wrong with "Yoda" but there is a red line under "Lando." Racist.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Why is the movie King Kong no more fun to watch after they leave the island? Because it's cool to see monsters fight monsters. In Terminator 2 it's robot against robot. Plus they fight with guns! They can get shot at and not die, especially the T-1000. Ever since Avatar came out, people are all up on James Cameron's business (read that any way you want to). Avatar was so successful and so was Titanic. So there's the movie that you have to see because everyone else saw it and the "Twilight" of the 90's. Did he make anything really good? It's so easy to forget Terminator 2 nowadays. It is so cool. Cameron also made Aliens which almost got on this list but I thought another movie deserved it more.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Honestly, I don't think I have to explain why this was better than Batman Begins. I feel like everyone knows how awesome this movie is. I feel I should mention however, that Batman Begins was a good movie. The Dark Knight was just way better.

Coming up is gonna be the bad movies. Yeah!

Capcom Movies Online

There are two movies online that came out this week based on famous Capcom franchises. One is based on the classic action-platformer Mega Man and the other on the innovative Street Fighter series. So how are they?


Let's start with Mega Man. The movie is located here:http://screwattack.com/videos/Mega-Man
At over 90 min it's actually movie length. I watched the whole thing. I wanted to stop but I owed it to you to watch it for you. It's not that great if you couldn't tell already. The acting and dialogue are pretty bad and the action scenes aren't intense enough to save it. I do have to say however that the costumes were good and the CGI was better than the movies that the sci fi channel makes. I felt there was just too much filler (read: crap) in the movie. What's the deal with Dr. Light's wife? How is Mega Man adjusting to being a robot in a human world? What is the story behind the first android Dr. Light and Dr. Whiley made? No one cares. Seriously. People who like Mega Man are not interested in story and drama. They want to see a blue robot lay some laser-pain on other robots.

The next movie is called Street Fighter: Legacy and can be found here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2ZXSzaUIBQ
This was not really a movie because it was only a bit over 3 min long. It was sweet though! They totally need to make a full length film in this style. It wasn't cheesy like the 90s movie or horribly lame like the Chun Li movie (I didn't see it but, come on, I didn't have to.) It wasn't perfect but it was the best live action Street Fighter thing ever made. Watch it!

Roll out some sweet rides

Over the years there have been some pretty sweet vehicles in various media. I'm gonna show five of my favorite rides.

Eagle Five from Space Balls

When I was little I thought the idea of a house van was the coolest thing ever. You can have a bed and tv and stuff and you can drive it around. A Winnebago is like a house van except it's bigger and better. They got toilets too! Even better than that though is a Winnebago that can fly in space. And it's fast too. It can go to plaid!

Punisher's GTO from The Punisher

Classic car driven by a cool dude. Plus it has the pull down bullet-proof windshield cover. That would be nice to have some times.

Cyclone Armor from Robotech

Motorcycles are cool. I don't ride one or want to but I have to admit that they are still cool. What's cooler than a motorcycle? One that can turn into power armor. I would totally rock that out.

The Slave 1 from Star Wars

This ship is pretty cool. I feel like we were denied seeing it in action. There was that scene in Attack of the Clones but that wasn't really I battle. Come to think of it, The Slave 1 is a lot like its owner Bobba Fett. Really cool, but not presented as such in the movies. Fett gets made to look like a tool in Jedi. Am I right? Yeah, I am.

The Batmobile from Batman

Seriously, how could this not be on the list? It's the frickin batmobile! The Tim Burton version I think is the best. The show one was lame, the Schumacher versions were lame in the other direction, and I felt the Rumbler didn't have the coolness factor that this one had. The batmobile is a sweet ride and anybody with a heartbeat would love to drive. Driving it is the cool thing, not riding in it. Women who get attacked and Robin get to ride in it. Driving = cool, riding = not cool.

So these rides are cool and all but what about something a little more real? Ok, I got something for ya. It hasn't come out yet but when it does it's gonna be awesome.

Scion Fuse

Normally I don't dig on two door cars but I will totally make an exception for this one. Supa awesome. I would totally have mine painted black and add little wings on the back. Can you say mini-batmobile? To put it simply, I wants... this car.