Roll out some sweet rides

Over the years there have been some pretty sweet vehicles in various media. I'm gonna show five of my favorite rides.

Eagle Five from Space Balls

When I was little I thought the idea of a house van was the coolest thing ever. You can have a bed and tv and stuff and you can drive it around. A Winnebago is like a house van except it's bigger and better. They got toilets too! Even better than that though is a Winnebago that can fly in space. And it's fast too. It can go to plaid!

Punisher's GTO from The Punisher

Classic car driven by a cool dude. Plus it has the pull down bullet-proof windshield cover. That would be nice to have some times.

Cyclone Armor from Robotech

Motorcycles are cool. I don't ride one or want to but I have to admit that they are still cool. What's cooler than a motorcycle? One that can turn into power armor. I would totally rock that out.

The Slave 1 from Star Wars

This ship is pretty cool. I feel like we were denied seeing it in action. There was that scene in Attack of the Clones but that wasn't really I battle. Come to think of it, The Slave 1 is a lot like its owner Bobba Fett. Really cool, but not presented as such in the movies. Fett gets made to look like a tool in Jedi. Am I right? Yeah, I am.

The Batmobile from Batman

Seriously, how could this not be on the list? It's the frickin batmobile! The Tim Burton version I think is the best. The show one was lame, the Schumacher versions were lame in the other direction, and I felt the Rumbler didn't have the coolness factor that this one had. The batmobile is a sweet ride and anybody with a heartbeat would love to drive. Driving it is the cool thing, not riding in it. Women who get attacked and Robin get to ride in it. Driving = cool, riding = not cool.

So these rides are cool and all but what about something a little more real? Ok, I got something for ya. It hasn't come out yet but when it does it's gonna be awesome.

Scion Fuse

Normally I don't dig on two door cars but I will totally make an exception for this one. Supa awesome. I would totally have mine painted black and add little wings on the back. Can you say mini-batmobile? To put it simply, I wants... this car.

What makes a team?

Back in action! More accurately back from inaction. This post asks the question: What makes a good team? The show It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia claims that the perfect team is made up of: Brains, Looks, Wildcard, Muscle, and the Useless Chick. Here's what they came up with on the show.

Always Sunny

Brains: Dennis clearly the most rational of the bunch although that doesn't count for much

Looks: Mac That's what you get for only working your glamor muscles

Wildcard: Charlie Who elso would cut the brakeline?

Muscle: Frank Let's face it, he's built like a dwarf. I'm not talking about a little person, I mean like Gimli!

Useless Chick: Dee Yup, useless
So that's what makes up a team? Seems to make sense. As a side note the pictures I used doesn't make it look like a comedy at all. They could be in like a serious crime drama or something. Anyway, here are some examples I came up with for other teams.

Fantastic Four and a Half

Brains: Reed Richards He's so smart that Galactus respects him. That's kind of a big deal.

Looks: Johnny Storm Nothing says "flashy" like lighting yourself on fire and flying around.

Wildcard: Franklin Richards His power is he can recontruct reality. That sounds like wildcard to me.

Muscle: Ben Grimm He can lift 80 tons. He qualifies.

Useless Chick: Susan Storm With the exception of Franklin she is the most powerful member of the team. She could easily turn invisible and rip people apart with here light powers all ninja-style. She doesn't though. One of the coolest things she can do is make abubble around a person's head so that they can't breathe. I've seen her do this to Reed when she was brainwashed and to the Hulk to calm him down. Why doesn't she do this to every bad guy they face? How long can Mole Man hold his breath?

Hot Rod

Brains: Kevin Powell He does all the computer stuff and is the stunt coordinator

Looks: Rod Kimble That is one sweet mustache, even though it's not real.

Wildcard: Dave Will he maintain the bike? Will he do acid? Will he do both?

Muscle: Rico He works with his hands to build the jumps. Also he totally ruins that one guy and takes his hat.

Useless Chick: Denise What does she do in this movie? Nothing! Except give Rod CPR so that he lives and the movie continues. Whatever.

Wizard of Oz

Brains: Tin Man The competition for smartest in not exactly very fierce.

Looks: Scarecrow He's always dancing and singing.

Wildcard: Toto No one expects anything from a little terrier. He exposes the lion's true nature and shows where the Wizard is hiding.

Muscle: Cowardly Lion I'm assuming he's strong. He's a lion.

Usless Chick: Dorothy So this whole time you could have just clicked your heals and gone home? Why are you wasting everyone's time then?

US Marshals from The FugitiveBrains: Samuel Gerard This guy is like a law enforcement genius

Looks: Noah Newman He's the young guy so he gets looks.

Wildcard: Cosmo Renfro Something about this guy just gets me. I don't know what to expect.

Muscle: Robert Biggs He's a big guy so he gets muscle

Useless Chick: Poole She doesn't even have a first name.

This has got me thinking. If I made a "dream team" following this pattern, what would I come up with? Here it is.

Dream Team

Brains: Batman Genius level tactician and also has extensive knowledge of computers, chemestry, biology, human anatomy/physiology, history, mythology, business, psychology, and engineering. That'll do.

Looks: Prince Caspian What a dashing young man. He also has a slight accent which makes him the attractive and mysterious kind of foriegn, not the smells bad and acts weird kind of foreign.

Wildcard: Hellboy (movie version) You never know what he'll say or do. Plus he has "big baby."

Muscle: Big Blue How can you go wrong with a giant rock monster with an ice theme?

Useless Chick: 1980s Era Phoebe Cates What is she going to contribute to the team? Absolutely nothing. Useless.

Baxter Stockman is black!

I have always been quick to condemn the changing of a comic book character's skin color. For some reason, the people in charge of making decisions like to change white characters into black characters. It really doesn't make any sense. If you want a black character, make a black character. With my strong feelings about this topic, one could imagine my surprise when finding out about Baxter Stockman. I was raised on the original TMNT show so I knew Baxter as a white guy. Lo and behold he was originally a black guy! I was so upset at how characters were being turned from white to black that I never thought for a second that it could happen the other way around. How did I feel after finding out that Baxter was supposed to be black all this time? Angry! Why was he ever made white in the first place? What they should have done is made a whole new white character if they wanted one so bad. It doesn't help their cause that Baxter is completely different in the comics. Black guy in comics turns into cyborg. White guy in tv show turns into bug. This whole business is stupid. If they want more characters of a certain skin color, they should just make more. And on that note, I think the Falcon is cool.

Life lessons from Marvel comics

Marvel comics, as well as their representations in other media, are a treasured part of my past, present, and, wallet-willing, future. The exploits of various heroes has made a great impact on my mind. With that impact, Marvel has taught me many things. The following are five examples.

1.) Even cool people have problems.
Looking at the popular kids in school or the celebrities in Hollywood can create a great misconception in one's mind. They seem to live such charmed lives. How can anything bad happen to them? Very easily as it turns out. Marvel provided examples of Heroes struggling not just against their foes but also their flaws. Iron Man had his alcoholism, Spiderman has had financial problems, and countless heroes, including Vision, Mr. Fantastic, and Captain America, have had problems being emotionally available to the ladies because of their profession. Just because you have powers it doesn't mean you don't have problems.

2.) False Geography
Ever try to find the island of Genosha on a map? With all the places that exist in the real world, Marvel found it necessary to fill my head with places that don't exist. I think for a small time I thought Madripoor was a real place. It sounds like it could be real.

3.)Even cool things can be turned lame
There are some sweet Marvel movies out there! There are also some very lame ones. I didn't think it was possible to make Ghost Rider lame. The dude wears all leather, fights with chains, rides a motorcycle, and has a skull for a head, that's on fire! When the movie came it it was revealed that all who are high can be brought down. My post concerning comic book tv shows is further evidence of this.

4.) Tolerance
Marvel comics made accepting people so much easier. The persecution of the mutants in X-Men showed how important tolerance is. How could anyone who has seen the way the mutants were treated in the comics want to perform such actions in real life? Marvel also presented a hero of every type of background. Every minority in America has a patron hero in the Marvel comics. Black people - Luke Cage
Latinos - Sunspot
Jews - The Thing
Purple people - Blink

5.) The color pink is not as lame as one might think.
If any one color were associated with the word "dainty," what would it be? Pink spells weakness. Marvel has taught that in the grand scheme of things pink is not so bad. Some very cool heroes have sported the color in the past. These greats include Archangel and Gambit

Contrary to some popular thought, comics are far from bad for a growing child. They may not always offer the best and most accurate material, but it is better to have Marvel comics filling the brain than nothing at all.

Comic Book Shows: Part 2

Last time, I posted concerning bad comic book shows. This time I will be mentioning the comic book shows that are good and that make the genre worthwhile.

1.) He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (2002) I'm a fan of the 2002 version. The one from the eighties had inferior animation and was nothing more than a 30 minute commercial with strong homosexual overtones. The 2002 version was sweet. It was a 30 minute commercial with epicness. Skeletor looked awesome and is one of the best villains ever.

2.) Wolverine and the X-Men (2009) I admit that I don't like the idea of Wolverine leading the X-Men. This show is pretty good regardless. The style is like a cross between X-Men(1992) and X-Men: Evolution(2000). It's not that "kiddie" which means it's not that bad.

3.) Superman: The Animated Series (1996) Despite the fact that Superman is very lame due to his being over-powered, this show is still great. They always managed to find someone for Superman to slug it out with. In my book, Superman will never be cool, but he has some awesome villains. The series acted like a showcase for Superman villains. They had all the greats like Brainiac, Lobo, Metallo, as well as special guests like Batman and Green Lantern. It was weird, however, that they made Lex Luthor black. I'm against it because he wasn't black in the comics. Why did they make him black? It's really weird. I could think of a lot of things to change about Superman comics but Lex's skin color never came to mind.

4.)Spider-Man (1994) This show was awesome! It had like every Spiderman villain and lots of crossovers with guys like Nick Fury, Punisher, Daredevil, and Blade. Spiderman had narration in all the episodes and always had a witty remark, just like in the comics. The Secret Wars story arc was one of my favorites because it was like the mother of all crossovers. It was not perfect, but it got closer to it than most.

5.)Wild C.A.T.s (1995) This show was a pretty cool and obscure show based on a pretty cool and obscure comic. Both were made by Jim Lee, the man who designed the X-Men costumes that most people tend to remember the best. The characters are pretty cool but the best is the main villain, Helspont. This dude's head was like a black skull engulfed in blue fire. Pretty sweet.

6.) Batman Beyond (1999) This show takes place in the future when Bruce Wayne is too old to still be Batman. At first I did not like the idea of this show but the end result cannot be denied as great. The action is really good and the villains are cool. Mr. Freeze even shows up! This is probably the only good show where the hero is in high school. Some how they pulled it off for once.

7.) Big Guy and Rusty (1999) This series differs a lot from the comic book it's based on, by Frank Miller. It tells of an advanced robot named Rusty who is the size of, and has the maturity of, a small boy. To help raise and train him they use Big Guy, the world's most famous robot. The only thing is that Big Guy is not a robot but actually an advanced battle suit. The pilot of the suit poses as Big Guy's mechanic and only a few no about the secret. It's a cool show because it has Big Guy using a crazy arsenal of weapons against robots and aliens. Also, the voice of Rusty is supplied by the same person who does Bobby Hill.

8.) X-Men (1992) It is debatable that this was the best comic book cartoon ever made. The X-Men comics had so many characters and many of them were included in the show. The action was awesome and the style was straight out of the comics. I still remember Sabertooth looking like pure evil. The theme song was great and very memorable even though it had no lyrics. Very epic and very awesome. Jubilee was annoying and that is probably the only fault in this show.

9.) The Tick (1994) This show was funny in a completely ridiculous way. The heroes and the villains were so bizarre. The show was not particularlly "kiddie," it was just silly. There was a villain with a chair for a head. Not on his head, as his head. The series was funny and well made.

10.) Batman: The Animated Series (1992) This show is incredible! All of Batman's villains are included and some of them, like Lockdown and Harley Quinn, got their start in the series. Mark Hamil does the voice of the Joker and one could not ask for a greater laugh. The series was so good that the producers were surprised at how many adult viewers they had. The series is a product of good animation, style, writing, and voice work. I'm including in this entry The New Batman Adventures because it was a continuation of the series with changed style to be more like Superman. Even the change in style could not make this a bad show. Some villains, like Scarecrow, actually looked cooler with the change. One of my favorite episodes, "Heart of Ice" with Mr. Freeze, was an Emmy winner. This series was simply amazing.

Comic Book Shows

Today I caught a bit of the Super Hero Squad show and realized that the children of today are missing out on good cartoon shows featuring super heroes. This is not something particularly new, as it has been happening for years. I'm going to list 10 comic book shows that came out tell what was wrong with them.

1.) Super Hero Squad (2009) The show has the cool idea of having the Avengers and the Fantasic Four team up against the allied power of some awesome villains like Thanos and Doctor Doom. The problem is that the style is way to "kiddie." The fact that you can see Iron Man's eyes and face behind his mask alone ruins it for me.

2.) The Avengers: United They Stand (1999) Here's a great idea, let's have an Avengers show but exclude all of the fan favorites like Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, and Thor. Why? It makes no sense. It would be like making a Star Wars show without Luke Skywalker or Han Solo. To be fair, Captain America and Iron Man did each make a cameo, but that is not enough. Thor was gonna be in the second season but it got canceled. Big surprise.

3.) The Batman (2004) The villains in the series were all redesigned which in some cases, mainly Joker, this was cool. Overall, however, the demeanor of the villains is less than evil and too "kiddie." The series is just not that enjoyable to watch and pales in comparison to the Animated Adventures of Batman and Robin. Plus I'm not digging the short hood ears on Batman.

4.) Iron Man: Armored Adventures (2009) This series is all CGI and has a cell-shaded look to it making it seem like a comic come to life. That is pretty cool but it's about Tony Stark as a teenager. Solid crap. The Tony Stark we all know and love is a womanizing alcoholic with a goatee. Iron Man does not have a curfew.

5.) Fantastic Four (1994) This show was not all bad. It was actually just half bad. It aired for two seasons and the first one sucked hard. The style and animation was crappy and Doctor Doom looked super lame. For the second season they had much improved animation, style, plot, and Doom looked cool. I can't get over how Namor looked in the first season, flying in the air with his ankle-wings flapping.

6.) Static Shock (2000) Start with a not particularly well known super hero, then take away any coolness aspect you can. I don't want to stat a big thing about being culturally sensitive and all that but does the black teenager have to have braids? Anyways, the show was lame, let's move on.

7.) Spiderman Unlimited (1999) This show only lasted for one season. Why, you ask? Becasue they took Spiderman off of planet Earth where all of his villains are. Instead, the viewer was given "counter-earth" version of some of the villains. No thank you. I want the real deal. I want it on Earth, where it matters.

8.) The Spectacular Spiderman (2008) Normally I would not object to a cartoon, in particular a cartoon based off a comic, being to "cartoony." It just doesn't work in this show. It looks kind of like if Clerks the cartoon show was about spiderman. Like Tony Stark in the Iron Man show, Peter Parker is in high school. Why do that? It's just going to make kids upset when they get to high school and don't get bit by radioactive spiders.

9.) Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008) Batman teams up with various super heroes to solve crime and fight bad guys. Sound cool but it's not. The style is beyond crappy. It seems like they were pushing for old-timey style with as little detail as possible. The action is terrible as the fighting is mostly cartoon-like (think throw bomb, explosion, enemy is no longer there). Once again, short hood ears are lame. The longa the betta.

10.) Teen Titans (2003) Oh I saved this special crap stain for last. It's worse than high school. All the "super heroes" are like preteens. How bad does your teem have to be when Robin is your leader. Just seeing or hearing the character Beast Boy makes me angry. The show starts sucking before it even starts. The theme song is from some J Pop band called Puffy. It certainly sets the crap-stage by annoying you before you even start watching. This show has no redeemable qualities. I saw an episode where it looked like the bad guy was going to win and I got so excited. He cut off one of the characters arms and legs. There was no way he could have lost. The bad guy was going to win and I was all for it. Then, I guess, the character Cyborg wanted his limbs back and they reformed and he saved the day. That is actually how it happened. Weak.

Next time I'll have a list of 10 comic book shows that were solid awesome!