Baxter Stockman is black!

I have always been quick to condemn the changing of a comic book character's skin color. For some reason, the people in charge of making decisions like to change white characters into black characters. It really doesn't make any sense. If you want a black character, make a black character. With my strong feelings about this topic, one could imagine my surprise when finding out about Baxter Stockman. I was raised on the original TMNT show so I knew Baxter as a white guy. Lo and behold he was originally a black guy! I was so upset at how characters were being turned from white to black that I never thought for a second that it could happen the other way around. How did I feel after finding out that Baxter was supposed to be black all this time? Angry! Why was he ever made white in the first place? What they should have done is made a whole new white character if they wanted one so bad. It doesn't help their cause that Baxter is completely different in the comics. Black guy in comics turns into cyborg. White guy in tv show turns into bug. This whole business is stupid. If they want more characters of a certain skin color, they should just make more. And on that note, I think the Falcon is cool.

Vocabulary lessons from video games

Video games are often connected with the rotting of children's minds. Actually, one can learn quite a bit from video games. One thing, which may be surprising, is that one's vocabulary can expand by clocking in hours behind a controller. The following is a list of five words that I was exposed to by video games.

Strafe - game unknown
I don't recall what game it was but it was certainly a first-person-shooter of some kind. If I can't remember the game, what makes me so certain I learned the word from one? That's simple. I cannot recall ever hearing the word "strafe" mentioned outside a video game setting. Never. Who says "strafe" in real life?

Raze - Warcraft 2 on the PC

At first hearing, one could think the word "raise" was said. In this context, the two are, despite being homophones, opposites. Like strafe, does anyone use this in real life? This one however, I have heard outside of a video game setting. In the Judas Priest song Ram It Down, there is a line that says, "razing the place to the ground... ram it down!"

Quota - Shenmue on the Dreamcast

That's a good word to know. It wasn't until playing Shenmue up to the part where you get a job that I learned the word "quota." In the game you have to transport crates from one warehouse to another. If you go beyond your quota, you get extra money. For some reason, operating a forklift was surprisingly fun. I bet it sucks IRL. I'm so web savvy.

Plains - Super Mario World on the SNES

Plains seems like a pretty basic word and, yes, it is. It does have to be taken into consideration that I was pretty young when I first played this game. Seeing that there was a place in the game called Donut Plains I immediately thought of "planes." After finding out what a "plain" was, the mental image wasn't as cool.

Loom - Loom on the PC For me, the word "loom" will always have a kind of magical sound to it. I don't know if that has to do at all with the word itself or just with the game. When I hear the word "loom," this game is the first thing that comes to mind. Certainly not the weaving device. By the way, it is worth noting that Loom was the very first game I played that featured voice-overs. That was pretty impressive for 1992.

More evil than Hitler

Disclaimer: The genocide of the Jews and other people during WWII was horrible. RC4 does not approve of any genocide nor would he wish to belittle the events of the 1930's and 1940's.

A disclaimer? Yeah, I thought it might be necessary. The other day I was watching a show on tv that claimed Hitler was the most evil man. I found this hard to believe. The most evil? Here is my list of five people I think are more deserving of the title. I tried to pick only those who were in a high position of authority so there will not be any serial killers and the like. Only heads of state.

Vlad III Prince of Wallachia - This guy, better known as Vlad the impaler, was the inspiration for Dracula. Most of what is said about him has been mixed with folklore and myth. It is known however, that he impaled thousands of people. I am hard pressed to think of a worse execution method. Vlad had a place called the "forest of stakes" which was an area covered by the impaled corpses of 20,000 people. It has been said that an invading army decided to call off its attack and turn back after seeing it. He also had people coated in honey and dropped into bear pits.

Mao Zedong - This guy was a bit full of himself. His face was on the money, on giant posters throughout China, and on buttons pinned to almost every person in China. Was he really that bad though? Well, his policies are responsible for the death of over 50 million people. That's a lot of people. He had many people executed because they were educated and by virtue of that percieved as a possible threat. If he found out about someone who was educated and successful over seas he would command them to come back to China. If they refused he would imprison any family they had back in China.

Qin Shi Huang - I don't mean to pick on China. There are just so many people from there that it makes sense that they would have more evil people as well. This guy was the first emperor of a unified China. It took a lot of wars to get China unified. Does that make him evil? I don't think so. Like Mao, he had a problem with a lot of educated people and had them killed. I cannot site this and do not know for sure if it is true, but the following is his main reason for being on the list. After attacking the Zhao capital, he had all of the city's children buried alive. That is evil.

Gaius Julius Ceasar Augustus Germanicus - Better known as Caligula, this guy was crazy. Literally crazy. Like insane. He demanded he be worshiped as a god, tried to make his horse a consul and priest, and declared war on the god Neptune. What makes this guy evil is the fact that he was completely unbalanced. It is said he killed people for fun and found it acceptable to sleep with anyone he felt like including other people's wives and his sisters. I think true evil cannot always be contained in a mind that is sane.

Leopold II - This king of Belgium controlled all of the African Congo. To maintain a constant supply of rubber to his country, he had the natives forced into slavery. If quotas were not met he had the workers hands cut off. A person without hands could not work and therefore would be a burden on those that could and would have to be replaced by some other slave. This would most likely end with the mutilation of the slave who replaced the last one and so on. A visiting missionary wrote a letter to the king wishing that he would have mercy and kill those who failed him rather that mutilate them and render them helpless.

Life lessons from Marvel comics

Marvel comics, as well as their representations in other media, are a treasured part of my past, present, and, wallet-willing, future. The exploits of various heroes has made a great impact on my mind. With that impact, Marvel has taught me many things. The following are five examples.

1.) Even cool people have problems.
Looking at the popular kids in school or the celebrities in Hollywood can create a great misconception in one's mind. They seem to live such charmed lives. How can anything bad happen to them? Very easily as it turns out. Marvel provided examples of Heroes struggling not just against their foes but also their flaws. Iron Man had his alcoholism, Spiderman has had financial problems, and countless heroes, including Vision, Mr. Fantastic, and Captain America, have had problems being emotionally available to the ladies because of their profession. Just because you have powers it doesn't mean you don't have problems.

2.) False Geography
Ever try to find the island of Genosha on a map? With all the places that exist in the real world, Marvel found it necessary to fill my head with places that don't exist. I think for a small time I thought Madripoor was a real place. It sounds like it could be real.

3.)Even cool things can be turned lame
There are some sweet Marvel movies out there! There are also some very lame ones. I didn't think it was possible to make Ghost Rider lame. The dude wears all leather, fights with chains, rides a motorcycle, and has a skull for a head, that's on fire! When the movie came it it was revealed that all who are high can be brought down. My post concerning comic book tv shows is further evidence of this.

4.) Tolerance
Marvel comics made accepting people so much easier. The persecution of the mutants in X-Men showed how important tolerance is. How could anyone who has seen the way the mutants were treated in the comics want to perform such actions in real life? Marvel also presented a hero of every type of background. Every minority in America has a patron hero in the Marvel comics. Black people - Luke Cage
Latinos - Sunspot
Jews - The Thing
Purple people - Blink

5.) The color pink is not as lame as one might think.
If any one color were associated with the word "dainty," what would it be? Pink spells weakness. Marvel has taught that in the grand scheme of things pink is not so bad. Some very cool heroes have sported the color in the past. These greats include Archangel and Gambit

Contrary to some popular thought, comics are far from bad for a growing child. They may not always offer the best and most accurate material, but it is better to have Marvel comics filling the brain than nothing at all.

Impressed by video games

There are times when playing video games that I am completely blown away by some aspect of a game. Whether it is the first time this aspect has been utilized, or the first time I have noticed it, a lasting impression has been made. The following are five such examples.

Thrasher: Skate and Destroy for Playstation (1999) This game was generally neglected due to the ease of play and popularity of the Tony Hawk games. Thrasher adds more realism and it's more relateable as the player plays a amateur skaters instead of pros. What really impressed me about this game was the music. When reading Thrasher magazine I would always see ads for punk music. The soundtrack for the game however is nothing but hip hop. And it's the good stuff too. It includes greats like Sugarhill Gang and RUN DMC. This game was actually intrumental in getting me into rap (this was before I found the wonder that is metal). If you like hip hop and skateboarding, this is the perfect game for you.

Metal Gear Solid for the Playstation (1998) There is no one who can deny that MGS is a great game. What really got me about this game was the story. When I first played it I didn't understand a great deal of it. This was the first time I had played a game that was over my head. Prior to this I had no trouble understanding the entirety of a games story. Princess gets captured and you have to save her. Got it. Your bananas have been stolen, you have to get them back. Check. It seems like every time I play this game I discover something new about the plot. As far as story goes, one would have to go into RPGs to find something to compete with MGS.

Devil May Cry for the Playstation 2 (2001)

Some people absolutely love this series while others can't get past the high difficulty and Dante's cocky attitude. What impressed me so much about this game was the graphics. With the jump to Playstation and N64, graphics had certainly improved but it wasn't really impressive as it was also then that a transfer was made from 2d to 3d. One can look at the cripness and vibrant colors of the Donkey Kong Country series on the SNES and be blown away. When one looks at Donkey Kong 64 however, even though it was presented in 3d and on a much more powerful system, it's not spectacular. When Playstation 2 came out, all that changed. The first game that I owned for the PS2 was Devil May Cry. I didn't believe that video game graphics could be this good. I was particularly impressed with the fight with that shadow cat. That looked superb.

The Elder Scrolles 3: Morrowind for the XBOX (2002)

As opposed to Devil May Cry, the graphics in this game disappointed many. One has to admit that the sky and water are portrayed beautifully in this game, but everything else falls short. It's obvious then that it's not the graphics that impressed me with this game. What truly impressed me was the size of the world in Morrowind. It is for this reason that I chose the map from the game as a picture (it can be clicked for a larger image). The area that this game takes place in is huge. There are a large number of cities and towns scattered across the map as well as countless caves and camps. There are ways to travel intantly from one city to another, but if you are short on money you can always walk. Walking from one city to another takes quite a long time because the world is so big. I have often wondered how many hours it would take to go from the southern coast to the northern one.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the Nintendo 64 (1998)
This game is an undeniable classic. I would say that it is overrated, however, it is no less a classic and it is truly a great game. What impressed me so much when playing this game was the ability to ride the horse Epona. I had never done that in a game before. I saw how large the map was (not anywhere as big as morrowind) and I was so glad to have been given a fast form of transportation. Not only can you ride Epona, you can shoot your bow while riding. While riding! This blew my mind! It's true that you don't really utilize it that much in the game but it's inclusion was still very impressive. In the game Gun I feel that riding a horse was near perfected and that the ability to shoot while riding was incorporated much more during the games missions. It was in Ocarinia of Time however, that I first experienced such a thing, and to it goes the credit.

Miracle Whip is Radical

What a historic day! My first post with a video. This little commercial is all about how cool Miracle Whip is. THEY WILL NOT TONE IT DOWN. Give me a break. Miracle Whip, you're mayonaise. You say you aren't, but you are. Get over it. While you're at it, TONE IT DOWN!

Too Cool Villains

Bad guys are bad. Part of being a bad guy, the main part, is being bad. However, some bad guys are really cool. There are some times where the coolness of the bad guys overshadow everything else in the medium they are presented in. This usually happens when someone is just too cool for whatever they are in. As a tribute to such villains, I will be discussing five examples.


Moloch in Gabriel as portrayed by Goran Kleut


I'm afraid that this is the best picture I could find of him. Still though, look at how intense he is! This movie was pretty lame because it had angels fighting against demons. Normally this would be awesome except they have very limited powers and use guns. Guns are cool, but not for angels and demons. This movie is lamesville but the character Moloch was cool. For starters, he was the most demonic-looking demon of the bunch. Also he fought with a knife which means he gets style points. Sadly he was the first enemy to get killed.



Nukus in Big Bad Beetleborgs as portrayed by Christopher Cho

Awesome. Just Awesome. A samurai meets a triceratops. Nukus was so cool that when he came on the scene he ousted the previus villains and became the main bad guy. Beetleborgs was a pseudo Power Rangers rip off. It was inferior because the characters were lame (young), their monster friends were not funny (insert a Jay Leno/Flabber joke yourself, I'm too lazy), and there was not enough giant robots. Regardless, Nukus was wicked cool. By the way, his name was pronounced "Nuke Us."

Lordi in Dark Floors as portrayed by Lordi

Lordi is a Finnish metal band that dress up like monsters. Yeah, that's pretty cool, I know. When I found out they were making a movie I was pumped. My friends said it would be bad and unfortunately they were right. Dark Floors was lacking in that it was not very scary. There was no suspense because if a person went up against a band member you knew they were dead so there was no point hoping they would make it out. One guy gets wounded at first but *SPOILER* he dies later. The movie was lame but Lordi remains super cool.

Goldar in Mighty Morphing Power Rangers as voiced by Kirrigan Mahan

Goldar was so cool! I always thought it was lame that he was a lackey for Rita even though he was a good fifty times cooler. How can you go wrong with an ape-man with red eyes, wings, and gold armor? Plus, he becomes giant sometimes! Goldar was above and beyond everything else in Power Rangers. The first time I remember actually feeling suspense when watching something was during an episode of Power Rangers. Jason couldn't turn into the red ranger and he was hiding from Goldar. I really thought Goldar was gonna kill him. This guy needs to be brought back.

Darth Maul in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace as portrayed by Ray Park

How could I have a list such as this and not mention Darth Maul? The Phantom Menace is easily the worst Star Wars film. Little Anakin and Jar Jar make it very difficult to sit through the whole thing. The shining facet of the film is the villain Darth Maul. Just look at him! So cool. His weapon is not just a lightsaber, but a DOUBLE lightsaber! That's crazy! We all know however that he dies and is never seen again. When finding out the General Grievous in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith was some guy who had his brains and organs living in a robot suit, I thought, " It's gonna be Darth Maul!" It wasn't. In his haste to come up with new stuff and not bring back things that people love, George Lucas made a new character and left Darth Maul to rot.

Laughing in the Kitchen

This is gonna be a small post. There won't even be a picture this time! I was looking at food in the fridge because I was hungry (read: bored), I came across a box of sausage links. On the back were the cooking instructions. They gave directions for how to cook one sausage. One. Who eats one sausage!?! Even as a side you should expect atleast three. I found it quite amusing. I will probably cook the whole box-worth when it comes time to it.

Strange TV Experience

I'm not into the whole "hi def" craze because I don't see what the big deal is. Ok, it's because I can't afford it. Something very strange happened today when I was watching TV on a CRT system. I turned it on and the View was on. I cannot stress enough that I don't watch the View. I'm more of Ellen person. That's a joke. I do not watch the Ellen show either. Seriously, I don't. Let's get back to the topic at hand. So the View was on and there was some dude who was giving Whoopi some electronics. As a small aside, I wonder what Whoopi would look like with eyebrows. So one of the gifts she got was a hi def tv. The tv was playing clips from the view in hi def. For most guys, watching the View in the View would be enough to make their head explode. I was too shocked by what I was seeing to experience any cranial detonations. The tv playing hi def had better resolution than the rest of the shot. It makes no sense but it's true. The low def recording of the hi def tv was of better quality than anything else they recorded. What a world we live in where one can gain better picture by recording a tv than the actual object.

Comic Book Shows: Part 2

Last time, I posted concerning bad comic book shows. This time I will be mentioning the comic book shows that are good and that make the genre worthwhile.

1.) He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (2002) I'm a fan of the 2002 version. The one from the eighties had inferior animation and was nothing more than a 30 minute commercial with strong homosexual overtones. The 2002 version was sweet. It was a 30 minute commercial with epicness. Skeletor looked awesome and is one of the best villains ever.

2.) Wolverine and the X-Men (2009) I admit that I don't like the idea of Wolverine leading the X-Men. This show is pretty good regardless. The style is like a cross between X-Men(1992) and X-Men: Evolution(2000). It's not that "kiddie" which means it's not that bad.

3.) Superman: The Animated Series (1996) Despite the fact that Superman is very lame due to his being over-powered, this show is still great. They always managed to find someone for Superman to slug it out with. In my book, Superman will never be cool, but he has some awesome villains. The series acted like a showcase for Superman villains. They had all the greats like Brainiac, Lobo, Metallo, as well as special guests like Batman and Green Lantern. It was weird, however, that they made Lex Luthor black. I'm against it because he wasn't black in the comics. Why did they make him black? It's really weird. I could think of a lot of things to change about Superman comics but Lex's skin color never came to mind.

4.)Spider-Man (1994) This show was awesome! It had like every Spiderman villain and lots of crossovers with guys like Nick Fury, Punisher, Daredevil, and Blade. Spiderman had narration in all the episodes and always had a witty remark, just like in the comics. The Secret Wars story arc was one of my favorites because it was like the mother of all crossovers. It was not perfect, but it got closer to it than most.

5.)Wild C.A.T.s (1995) This show was a pretty cool and obscure show based on a pretty cool and obscure comic. Both were made by Jim Lee, the man who designed the X-Men costumes that most people tend to remember the best. The characters are pretty cool but the best is the main villain, Helspont. This dude's head was like a black skull engulfed in blue fire. Pretty sweet.

6.) Batman Beyond (1999) This show takes place in the future when Bruce Wayne is too old to still be Batman. At first I did not like the idea of this show but the end result cannot be denied as great. The action is really good and the villains are cool. Mr. Freeze even shows up! This is probably the only good show where the hero is in high school. Some how they pulled it off for once.

7.) Big Guy and Rusty (1999) This series differs a lot from the comic book it's based on, by Frank Miller. It tells of an advanced robot named Rusty who is the size of, and has the maturity of, a small boy. To help raise and train him they use Big Guy, the world's most famous robot. The only thing is that Big Guy is not a robot but actually an advanced battle suit. The pilot of the suit poses as Big Guy's mechanic and only a few no about the secret. It's a cool show because it has Big Guy using a crazy arsenal of weapons against robots and aliens. Also, the voice of Rusty is supplied by the same person who does Bobby Hill.

8.) X-Men (1992) It is debatable that this was the best comic book cartoon ever made. The X-Men comics had so many characters and many of them were included in the show. The action was awesome and the style was straight out of the comics. I still remember Sabertooth looking like pure evil. The theme song was great and very memorable even though it had no lyrics. Very epic and very awesome. Jubilee was annoying and that is probably the only fault in this show.

9.) The Tick (1994) This show was funny in a completely ridiculous way. The heroes and the villains were so bizarre. The show was not particularlly "kiddie," it was just silly. There was a villain with a chair for a head. Not on his head, as his head. The series was funny and well made.

10.) Batman: The Animated Series (1992) This show is incredible! All of Batman's villains are included and some of them, like Lockdown and Harley Quinn, got their start in the series. Mark Hamil does the voice of the Joker and one could not ask for a greater laugh. The series was so good that the producers were surprised at how many adult viewers they had. The series is a product of good animation, style, writing, and voice work. I'm including in this entry The New Batman Adventures because it was a continuation of the series with changed style to be more like Superman. Even the change in style could not make this a bad show. Some villains, like Scarecrow, actually looked cooler with the change. One of my favorite episodes, "Heart of Ice" with Mr. Freeze, was an Emmy winner. This series was simply amazing.

Comic Book Shows

Today I caught a bit of the Super Hero Squad show and realized that the children of today are missing out on good cartoon shows featuring super heroes. This is not something particularly new, as it has been happening for years. I'm going to list 10 comic book shows that came out tell what was wrong with them.

1.) Super Hero Squad (2009) The show has the cool idea of having the Avengers and the Fantasic Four team up against the allied power of some awesome villains like Thanos and Doctor Doom. The problem is that the style is way to "kiddie." The fact that you can see Iron Man's eyes and face behind his mask alone ruins it for me.

2.) The Avengers: United They Stand (1999) Here's a great idea, let's have an Avengers show but exclude all of the fan favorites like Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, and Thor. Why? It makes no sense. It would be like making a Star Wars show without Luke Skywalker or Han Solo. To be fair, Captain America and Iron Man did each make a cameo, but that is not enough. Thor was gonna be in the second season but it got canceled. Big surprise.

3.) The Batman (2004) The villains in the series were all redesigned which in some cases, mainly Joker, this was cool. Overall, however, the demeanor of the villains is less than evil and too "kiddie." The series is just not that enjoyable to watch and pales in comparison to the Animated Adventures of Batman and Robin. Plus I'm not digging the short hood ears on Batman.

4.) Iron Man: Armored Adventures (2009) This series is all CGI and has a cell-shaded look to it making it seem like a comic come to life. That is pretty cool but it's about Tony Stark as a teenager. Solid crap. The Tony Stark we all know and love is a womanizing alcoholic with a goatee. Iron Man does not have a curfew.

5.) Fantastic Four (1994) This show was not all bad. It was actually just half bad. It aired for two seasons and the first one sucked hard. The style and animation was crappy and Doctor Doom looked super lame. For the second season they had much improved animation, style, plot, and Doom looked cool. I can't get over how Namor looked in the first season, flying in the air with his ankle-wings flapping.

6.) Static Shock (2000) Start with a not particularly well known super hero, then take away any coolness aspect you can. I don't want to stat a big thing about being culturally sensitive and all that but does the black teenager have to have braids? Anyways, the show was lame, let's move on.

7.) Spiderman Unlimited (1999) This show only lasted for one season. Why, you ask? Becasue they took Spiderman off of planet Earth where all of his villains are. Instead, the viewer was given "counter-earth" version of some of the villains. No thank you. I want the real deal. I want it on Earth, where it matters.

8.) The Spectacular Spiderman (2008) Normally I would not object to a cartoon, in particular a cartoon based off a comic, being to "cartoony." It just doesn't work in this show. It looks kind of like if Clerks the cartoon show was about spiderman. Like Tony Stark in the Iron Man show, Peter Parker is in high school. Why do that? It's just going to make kids upset when they get to high school and don't get bit by radioactive spiders.

9.) Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008) Batman teams up with various super heroes to solve crime and fight bad guys. Sound cool but it's not. The style is beyond crappy. It seems like they were pushing for old-timey style with as little detail as possible. The action is terrible as the fighting is mostly cartoon-like (think throw bomb, explosion, enemy is no longer there). Once again, short hood ears are lame. The longa the betta.

10.) Teen Titans (2003) Oh I saved this special crap stain for last. It's worse than high school. All the "super heroes" are like preteens. How bad does your teem have to be when Robin is your leader. Just seeing or hearing the character Beast Boy makes me angry. The show starts sucking before it even starts. The theme song is from some J Pop band called Puffy. It certainly sets the crap-stage by annoying you before you even start watching. This show has no redeemable qualities. I saw an episode where it looked like the bad guy was going to win and I got so excited. He cut off one of the characters arms and legs. There was no way he could have lost. The bad guy was going to win and I was all for it. Then, I guess, the character Cyborg wanted his limbs back and they reformed and he saved the day. That is actually how it happened. Weak.

Next time I'll have a list of 10 comic book shows that were solid awesome!

Video Game Review: Halo

Two months and five days. It has been a long time. I'm seriously gonna try to make posts more often. Enough apologies, on to the post.I think I should first start out by saying that I am not a fan of Halo. I think the first game was the best and that any improvements, or "improvements," made in its sequels do not make them better than the original. I feel that Halo was a good game. That's it. Not great, certainly not a killer app, just good. I realize how bold a claim that is so I will do my best to defend it.

Firstly I would like to point out what I like about Halo. I realize it is completely inconsequentialbut I like the cover. The composition is cool and it's all shiny. For the game itself, I think the art department did a great job. Master Chief looks cool, so do all the covenant forces, in particular the elites. I like how the rocket launcher can fire two rounds before reloading. That makes it quite devastating if you're accurate and forgiving if you're not. I also like the pistol. It's nice to know that .50 Cal handguns will be cool even in the future. For the time, the graphics were very impressive. The voice acting was very professional, and the musical score was great.

On to what was bad. The overall experience of shooting bad guys was not very enjoyable. As much as I liked the design of the covenant, most of the ones you fight are so short that you spend most of the time bending over to hit them. This might sound like hardly an issue but it sullies the experience and was unnecessary. There is no reason why the majority of the enemies could not be the same size as you. The elites, who are the same size, have a shield which makes fighting them tedious unless you have a covenant weapon. Master Chief is only allowed to carry two weapons at a time which makes sense and adds a sense of realism to Halo as well as strategy. In the end I did not care for this aspect because it meant I had to carry the weapons that were overall the best for the situation as opposed to the one I enjoyed using. I was under the impression that that was the whole point of the game, to enjoy it. I didn't like the covenant's weapons but found myself carrying them because they killed aliens faster. Once you encounter the Flood the number of weapons you get to choose to carry drops down to one because the other slot has to be occupied by the shotgun if you wish to survive. Oh, the Flood. They were the least enjoyable enemy to face. They are like zombies but without all the good stuff. They are fast, they carry weapons (sometimes rocket launchers), and if they swing at you there is no dodging it. The absolute worst part about the Flood is that sometimes they go down, but they don't die. They just pop right back up, usually behind you.

It was quite rare at the time of Halo's release for a player to be able to control vehicles in a first person shooter. The inclusion of this feature was not worth it because the vehicles are horrible. The reason for this is the controls. Halo opted for controling the vehicles via the two analog sticks. This, I assume, was because the player would already have their fingers in positon for this, making it an easy transition from on foot to driving. The result is less than acceptable. In the Grand Theft Auto series (games I have my complaints about yet still consider them great games, perhaps even killer apps) one controls acceleration with a button and steering with a control stick. This frees the other control stick to be used for controlling the players view. It works perfectly. This is not the case with Halo. If you want to see what's on your left, you either have to stop and look or head straight for it. Also the physics are genuinely terrible. I have a special gripe to pick with everyone's favorite 4X4, the warthog. For an all-terrain vehicle it has next to no traction. It's like its wheels were made out of plastic.

We're almost done. These next complaints are concerning comments on the game's case. I have the version with the game of the year badge on it (quite the undeserved award). The case features plenty of praise by various video game reviewers. "One of the best shooters ever!" says Videogames.com. I'm not huge in the FPS genre but I think Battlefield 1942, Unreal Tournament, and Doom 2 were better by a lot. I even had more fun playing Red Faction 2 than Halo. "This is the most important launch game for any console, ever." says Edge magazine. Really? Ever? I don't think any launch game will equal Super Mario World for the SNES. I can do one even better. I'm gonna name a game that not only have I never played it and know it's better, it was also an Xbox launch title. Tony Hawk 2X. The great game for the previous generation with updated graphics, added levels , and custom sound tracks. You might ask, "why are you so against the Halo series?" My reason is very simple. Peopl seem to love this game for no particualr reason. The games are truly not that great. That was long.

The hidden truth about koalas

Oh, look at it. Cute, right? Wrong. Koala bears are not cute if you know their past. An almost sure-fire way to think an animal is no longer cute is to see it have sex. You never look at it the same way. The answer is yes I have seen koala bears have sex and no I did not want to see it. The animal show I was watching on tv switched to a different kind of music and then started playing footage of every animal imaginable being "intimate." Alas, that is not the reason I make the bold claim that koala bears are not cute. The true reason requires a look into the early days of a koala's life. Everybody knows that koala bears eat eucalyptus leaves. The babies drink their mothers' milk. If they went from milk to leaves I wouldn't have a problem with them. Did you know that eucalyptus is poisonous? Adult koala's produce an enzyme that protects them from the poison. What about the little kid koalas that stop drinking milk? I'm gonna tell you. I can't stress enough that this is true and I have seen it (I wish I hadn't). The kid koala actually eats its mothers poop. Let that sink in. The diet goes from milk, to poop, to leaves. Look at that critter, knowing what its done, and tell me that thing is cute. It ate poop!

The Ads of Evony

Anyone who travels the internet in search of anything relating to video games is familiar with the ads for Evony. Evony is game that can be played in the user's web browser and from the looks of it is pretty lame. How can the Evony-people get people to play their game then. The answer is highly suggestive advertising. I've posted here some of the ads that I've seen on my web travels.

Oh crap, the queen is in danger! The queen is wearing a bit of a low-cut dress but that's not that big of a deal. The real concern is why the letter "Y" is trying to stab her boob.

Ok, they are really going for that low-cut thing. Notice that they didn't even mention the queen. What they did say however was that you could play "DISCREETLY." For what purpose? The game is about ruling a city and battling people and junk. The game itself has nothing that needs to be done discreetly. Ok, let's move on.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Seriously? Just boobs? At least with the previous ads the boobs were attached to a fantasy/medieval woman. This time - just boobs. And apparently the game is the "best." One more ad to go.

You have got to be kidding me. When I first saw this ad I thought it was for a porn site or something. What does this have to do with anything? At least the boobs one was funny. This thing is just a blurry naked chick. Oh Evony, you are wasting your advertising budget. They should hire me. I could come up with classy Evony ads. I can see it now...


Oh yeah! My ad would be way different.

Custom Casey Jones paintjob

Oh, Casey Jones. One of my favorite TMNT figures. Seeing as I had two of them I thought I would paint one of them. Casey Jones looked pretty cheesy with his purple pants and green shoes. I gave him a tougher, more grim color scheme. I even highlighted the body hair that Playmates deemed a necessary part of the sculpting of the figure. I went for more of a blank aspect in the mask to give it a kind of Michael Myers look. I will admit that the original's mask looks better. Click on the picture for a much larger and more detailed version. Will there be more TMNT custom paintjobs in the future on RC4? That all depends on if I get a job or not. Job = No. Unemployment=time=boredom=TMNT figure painting.

Go See This Movie!

I cannot stress this enough. District 9 is a friggin sweet movie. It's like a combination Schindler's List and Enemy Mine. The movie is presented as a kind of documentary in the begginning but eventually loses that aspect but takes it back up in the end. The story of the movie revolves around aliens who crash-landed (sort of) over South Africa. The humans herd the aliens into slums and generally treat them anywhere from stupid people to vermin. The people interviewed in the beginning of the film keep mentioning that the main character, Wikus Van De Merwe, has done something that is considered treasonous to the human race. What did he do? Oh you'll find out. This film has a great story, seamless special effects, and relatable characters. You'll laugh, you'll cry (if you're a girl), and it will make you think. Mostly about how cool alien weaponry is.

Video Game Review: Zero The Kamikaze Squirrel

Oh boy! It's been about a month and a half since my last post. I'm totally gonna try to get into the habbit of posting more frequently. So here is a review for the SNES game (also available on Genesis) Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel. The fact that a game like this was even made boggles my mind. You play as a squirrel wearing a rising sun headband ( I have to admit I at one point not only had won but wore it) who goes around throwing ninja stars at badguys. These badguys are made up of giant scorpions, robots, and even dorky-looking guys with bladed propeller caps. The whole game seems kind of weird. The strangest (read scariest) part of the game is in the beginning Zero talks to his boss/friend/whatever who is an evil clown. Not to say that all clowns are evil (they are), this one had a mean grimace, black eyes, and a spiked choker necklace. It is bizarre to say the least. In conclusion, the mediocre gameplay and sound combined with the freaky characters and premise make this game not really worth playing. Actually you should play it once to see the intro with the clown. Creepy.

What's the deal with Stardust?

I thought I would make my first reel post a movie review. Get it? Reel? Yeah, I'm sorry. When this movie came out in 2007 I was really exicted for it. I'm a sucker for fantasy movies. Look at the poster. It looks as though it was from the golden age of fantasy movies (the 80's). It has a great cast featuring Claire Danes, Robert De Niro, and Michelle Pfeiffer. Typical to fantasy movies and books, it centers on an ordinary person going on an extrodinary adventure. Sounds awesome, right? Then why does it suck? I saw the movie and I still don't fully understand why it is so lame. I admit that there could have been more action but that cannot fault the entire film. The best conclusion I can come to is that it was made at the wrong time. Had this movie come out during the magical period known as the 80s it would likely be remembered today as a classic. Many things taken out of the 80s lose their magic. It is because of this that some great things cannot be great out of the 80s. Another example is Glam rock/metal. If this bands came out today, we would just assume they were gay.

In The Beginning...

Thus marks the beginning of the RC4 site! I, RC4, along with my avatar/sidekick/robotic buddy Wilson, will be supporting this site in hopes that you enjoy yourself and maybe even learn (not that much though). Expect social commentary (criticism of TV commercials), Entertainment news (reviews of video games and movies), modern art exhibitions (WIPs and finished projects of mine), and general musings on the world around us (rants). Have fun.