Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Ultimate Villain Deaths Part 2

It's time for part 2! Are you ready?
Ragnar Sturlusson in The Golden Compass
Yes I did see this movie. Why? Look at the picture. Polar bears wearing armor. How could that be bad? As it turns out it's not too difficult to throw something so cool into something so lame. The only thing this movie was missing was Dakota Fanning. Actually the actress who stars in it is named Dakota. Getting back to the coolness, Ragnar (sweet name) fights against another polar bear by the name of Loric (I think that's his name, I don't really care though). So they're fighting and then IT HAPPENS. The most brutal thing I have ever seen in a kids' movie. Loric takes a swipe at Ragnar and knocks his jaw clean off! This shot was actually really well done because it was from a bit far away and you could see the jaw fly off and land in the snow. Ragnar then get polar bear jaws all up on his neck. I would almost say that scene is worth seeing the movie for. Almost.

Himuro Gemma in Ninja Scroll
I supose this one doesn't actually count because he technically didn't die. You see that scar on his neck? He got his head cut off but that didn't seem to slow him down too much. In the end of the film, this guy named Jubei headbutts Gemma in the face to the point that he becomes a bloody mess. This whole time they are on a ship that is filled with melting gold. The gold comes pouring in on Gemma and burns his whole body. As he screams in pain (who could blame him?) the ship sinks and the cold water hardens the gold and he sinks to the bottom. Technically he didn't die, but he did take in a whole mess of pain and is hopeless at the bottom of the ocean.


Witch-King of Angmar in Return of the King
His stupidity makes him deserve to be killed. He leads the most powerful army in Middle Earth and is foolish enough to enter into single combat. Oh sure, he beats King Theoden but at what cost? I'll tell you the cost. He gets stabbed in the back. That sucks. Then he gets stabbed with a sword full on in the face. In the face! He the proceeds to IMPLODE! Wow.

Howard Saint in The Punisher
And the moral of this story is never kill a guy's whole family.
Bankrupt his money laundering business: Check
Have him kill his best friend: Check
Have him kill his wife: Check
Put his son in a position where it's just a matter of time before he dies: Check
Tell him about how you screwed up his life and got him to kill those who were closest to him: Check
To top it all off he shoots him in the legs, ties him to a car, and sends him off into explosion that form his logo. You've been punished.

Minister Cheng in Invincible Armor
I admit, this guy would probably not be on this list if I wasn't a guy. Cheng master the iron armor technique. What that means is that he is invulnerable except for one spot on his body. Can you guess where? In the last scene of the movie, General Chow crushes Chengs balls in his hand. How do we know this happened? We see Chow reach up there, then we see Cheng with a confused/shocked look on his face. The film then quickly switches over to a video of a guy holding to eggs in his hand. He crushes the eggs, yolk goes everywhere, and then the camera goes back to a dying Cheng. Death by crushed balls. Poor guy.




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