I LOVE PUPPETS! part 2

It's time for part 2. Let's do this!

Godzilla

This guy is so cool. Giant monster that fights other giant monsters. What's not to love? You know when I start to not care about the movie King Kong? It's right when they get off the island. At that point the big gorilla isn't gonna be able to fight any more opponents the same size as him. Godzilla on the other hand (except for the first film) always has someone to pal around with. Godzilla is broght to life on camera using a special technology called "suitamation." Pretty much the same a any other guy in a suit with an animatronic head. I chose the millenium version of Godzilla for the picture because that one is the best in my opinion. I think the Showa version is too friendly looking and I can't get past the Heisei versions thunder thighs.

Gmork

Have you ever been afraid of a puppet? If you've seen The Neverending Story as a kid you have. Gmork is scary and wicked evil. He wants the Nothing to consume all of Fantasia. That basically means he wants his entire universe to be obliterated. Now that I've typed it out it seems a bit emo to me. "I wish the world were gone. Boo-hoo."

The Sinclair Family

Honestly, if the show were rewritten a bit and they just used real people it would still be funny. I remember watching Dinosaurs as a kid and thinking "Wow, the dinosaurs are cool. They're walking and talking just like me!" After a few episodes you start to forget that they're dinosaurs and you're just watching a regular sitcom. They did such a good job with animating the suits that all the audience sees is a regular family.

Fozzie Bear

Fozzie is one of my favorite Muppets. I really like his personality and enjoy it whenever he's on the screen. Fozzie seems to provide the perfect link between Kermit and Gonzo. He's rational but at the same time cooky and not all that bright. There is something about muppets that confuses me though. What's the deal with clothes? Kermit - naked. Miss Piggy - fully clothed. Rowlf - naked. Gonzo - fully clothed. Then there's Fozzie. A tie and a hat. Why does he wear a tie?

Tik Tok

Look at that picture. Fairuza Balk is about 10 years old there. Inside Tik Tok is a FULL GROWN MAN. You see how he's taking a step? He actually walks. No strings. No special effects. It is, without exception, the best suit performance I have ever seen. Amazing.

I LOVE PUPPETS! part 1

I am a huge fan of puppets. They are awesome. I count full costumes combined with animatronics as puppets. In our modern times of CGI-abuse, we don't get to see them as much as we should. Puppets always look good on screen because the camera is actually filming something as opposed to adding in other footage. I'll be discussing some of my favorite puppets. It's worth mentioning that the majority of these have some connection with Jim Henson Studios. In this part I'll cover five and the next part another five. Let's begin!

Mr Wink

Let me start out by saying that Hellboy 2 is incredible. Easily in my top 50 favorite movies and probably in my top 20 as well. Wink, that's Mr. Wink to you, is troll warrior who is hard as nails. Look at his mitt! Not only is it all metal but it can fly out on a chain. And it crawls back to him!

Kermit the Frog

One of the most famous puppets in the world, Kermit is an icon. He has a star on Hollywood Boulevard and has starred in a number of films. What's impressive about him is the range of emotions he can portray. It is true that a lot of his demeanor comes out in his voice but his face also says a lot. Just look at the picture. You can't hear him but you know he's thinking, "Oh brother."

Cookie Monster

There are a lot of monsters on Seasame Street. Why did I chose Cookie Monster? Is the most famous? That's Big Bird. Fan favortie? That's Elmo. Most relatable? No, for me that's Telly. I think it is because Cookie Monster is the funniest. I saw him on the Colbert Report and he was hilarious. Plus he has a sweet voice. NOM NOM NOM!

The Ninja Turtles (Movies 1 and 2)

Watching the turtle movies I just thought, "Wow, they brought the cartoon to life." That's what they did. In real life there is more violence and there is a little swearing but it's still cool. They just did a solid job on the turtles. What can I say? Oh, how about this. The third movie sucked and so did the tv show. Not the cartoon show, that was awesome, I'm talking about the live action crap. Ugh.

Yoda

What's awesome about Yoda is that everyone watching Star Wars thinks of him as just another character. He's a little green man who lives in the woods! He was performed so well that no one cares. He blends in and he becomes just another character. Also, he has so some sweet words of wisdom. Who hasn't said "Do or do not" in real life?

Ultimate Villain Deaths Part 2

It's time for part 2! Are you ready?

Ragnar Sturlusson in The Golden Compass

Yes I did see this movie. Why? Look at the picture. Polar bears wearing armor. How could that be bad? As it turns out it's not too difficult to throw something so cool into something so lame. The only thing this movie was missing was Dakota Fanning. Actually the actress who stars in it is named Dakota. Getting back to the coolness, Ragnar (sweet name) fights against another polar bear by the name of Loric (I think that's his name, I don't really care though). So they're fighting and then IT HAPPENS. The most brutal thing I have ever seen in a kids' movie. Loric takes a swipe at Ragnar and knocks his jaw clean off! This shot was actually really well done because it was from a bit far away and you could see the jaw fly off and land in the snow. Ragnar then get polar bear jaws all up on his neck. I would almost say that scene is worth seeing the movie for. Almost.

Himuro Gemma in Ninja Scroll

I supose this one doesn't actually count because he technically didn't die. You see that scar on his neck? He got his head cut off but that didn't seem to slow him down too much. In the end of the film, this guy named Jubei headbutts Gemma in the face to the point that he becomes a bloody mess. This whole time they are on a ship that is filled with melting gold. The gold comes pouring in on Gemma and burns his whole body. As he screams in pain (who could blame him?) the ship sinks and the cold water hardens the gold and he sinks to the bottom. Technically he didn't die, but he did take in a whole mess of pain and is hopeless at the bottom of the ocean.

Witch-King of Angmar in Return of the King

His stupidity makes him deserve to be killed. He leads the most powerful army in Middle Earth and is foolish enough to enter into single combat. Oh sure, he beats King Theoden but at what cost? I'll tell you the cost. He gets stabbed in the back. That sucks. Then he gets stabbed with a sword full on in the face. In the face! He the proceeds to IMPLODE! Wow.

Howard Saint in The Punisher

And the moral of this story is never kill a guy's whole family.

Bankrupt his money laundering business: Check

Have him kill his best friend: Check

Have him kill his wife: Check

Put his son in a position where it's just a matter of time before he dies: Check

Tell him about how you screwed up his life and got him to kill those who were closest to him: Check

To top it all off he shoots him in the legs, ties him to a car, and sends him off into explosion that form his logo. You've been punished.

Minister Cheng in Invincible Armor

I admit, this guy would probably not be on this list if I wasn't a guy. Cheng master the iron armor technique. What that means is that he is invulnerable except for one spot on his body. Can you guess where? In the last scene of the movie, General Chow crushes Chengs balls in his hand. How do we know this happened? We see Chow reach up there, then we see Cheng with a confused/shocked look on his face. The film then quickly switches over to a video of a guy holding to eggs in his hand. He crushes the eggs, yolk goes everywhere, and then the camera goes back to a dying Cheng. Death by crushed balls. Poor guy.

Ultimate Villain Deaths Part 1

Oh, Villains. The guys we love to hate. It always seems satisfying when a villain in a movie gets their just desserts. The audience feels like justice has been served. I have compiled a list of 10 of the ultimate examples of bad guys getting what they deserve. This is the first half. Oh, and there will be spoilers. You've been warned.

Karl Ruprecht Kroenen in Hellboy

Quite possibly one of the coolest looking bad guys out there. He makes that trenchcoat look good. He starts out with a luger and I'm like "Woah, this guy is cool." Then he takes out bladed tonfas and I'm like "Woah, this guy is wicked cool!" Karl does make the mistake of killing Hellboy's adopted father. Big mistake. After having his face pummeled in by the Right Hand of Doom he falls into a pit of spikes. Once impaled on the spikes Hellboy finishes him of by throwing a giant gear on him.

Br. Zachary Smith in Lost in Space

To be perfectly honest this is not the only Gary Oldman character death considered for this list. I also thought of Hannibal and The Professional. Maybe I just chose this one as a safe way of admitting that I have seen Lost in Space (like three times). So Dr. Smith becomes a spider monster and has little spider babies. He thinks that he'll go to earth and take it over for all spider-kind. Understandable. He gets sliced with a trophy (yeah, lame, I know) and all the little baby spiders come out of the egg sac and eat him. Alive! Compare the two: eaten by pigs or eaten by your own offspring. Hannibal was a way better movie.

Colonel Koobus Venter in District 9

No one likes this guy. You cannot watch this movie and not hate this guy. Not only does he pretty much suck at his job, he's a dick. Sounds like a villain to me. This guy gets surrounded by the aliens that he's been wantonly killing and abusing throughout the film. They eventually grab him and rip off his head. Not cut off with a knife. Not blow of with an alien laser gun. No. They rip off his head with shear alien strength. Serves him right.

Warden Sugiyama in Riki Oh

Let me start off by saying that Riki Oh is the most gory movie that has ever been made. Seriously. More so than any horror movie. Anyway, the movie takes place in a prison and the guy on the left is the warden. The one on the right is his son. He's a spoiled piece of crap. The warden actually transforms into this like super monster form which surprised me even though it shouldn't have because the movie is so ridiculous. The warden fights against Riki and is eventually beaten and forced down a meat grinder. The only thing left of him is his head which Riki holds triumphantly. It is worth noting that he is alive when he goes into the grinder. That reminds me of a Judas Priest song. Grinder! Looking for meat! Grinder!

Thulsa Doom in Conan the Barbarian

James Earl Jones plays a good villain. It can't be denied. Thulsa Doom kills Conan's family and then has him sold into slavery. If that's not bad enough, he also kills Conan's girlfriend. And at one point he crucifies Conan as well. The ending scene in Conan the Barbarian is very anti-climactic but for some reason it works great. Conan confronts his nemesis and Thulsa Doom tries to work his psychology on him. Thulsa Doom is all like, "Your whole life you have been trying to kill me. If I die your life has no meaning." Then Thulsa Doom invites Conan to join him. I think he calls him his son as well. There is a moment where it looks like Conan is considering it. This doesn't last and he takes off Thulsa Dooms head. What makes this particularlly brutal is that it is a moment of realism in the movie. His head doesn't come off in one swing. Conan hacks at him till it comes off and then throws it down a huge set of stairs. This whole thing happens in front of thousands of Thulsa Dooms followers. It's like Conan was saying, "You think this guy is so great? Check this out!"

I think the other half of the list is even better. Just wait and see.

Jus what are they implying?

Here's a video of a Dell laptop commercial. I thought it a bit strange.



Did you notice anything strange? I assure you it has nothing to do with the similarity between making candy and the manufacturing of electronics. The comments on youtube proves that I'm not the only one who thinks there is something fishy going on.

The lights turn on. Check

Guy comes up from below frame. Check

Other guy comes up from below frame, smiles at first guy, and straps on his overalls. What?

So why was that guy's pants off? I worked in a factory before and I always had put my pants on before leaving the house. Was this guy sleeping on the floor of the factory without his pants on? I doubt that guy was ad libbing. I can only assume that someone actually told him, "When you get up and start singing, buckle up your overalls." Why would someone suggest that? What does it all mean?

Shh, It's On!

There are acceptable times and things to say during the watching of a movie. If you're making fun of it (i.e. MST3K) anything goes. When sitting down to watch a movie for the movie's sake, many people do not understand that for the most part you should keep your mouth shut. The following is a list of the top five questions I hate to hear while watching a movie.

1) Who is that? (character)
Try watching the movie. Films are made for enjoyment, they are not test of your recognition skills. There are times when the plot is a mystery, but as to what character is on screen the film-makers tend to make it obvious. Pay attention and you'll know who you are watching. This question is usually followed up with, "Oh, nevermind." Not only did they answer their own question, the opened their mouth long enough to stop you from hearing a character's question as well as another character's answer to it. I hope you can rewind it.

2) Who is that? (actor)
Does it matter? It doesn't have anything to do with the particular movie. This is the perfect question to ask AFTER the movie.

3) What did I miss?
Oh this old jem. If you can't control your bowels then you don't get to know what goes on in a movie. Go before or deal with trying to figure it out while watching the rest of it. This question is absolutely inexcusable when asked while watching a DVD. If you don't say, "Hey pause it I gotta go" then you don't deserve to know what happened.

4) Did you see that?
See what? No, I was to busy watching the movie to see what was happening IN THE MOVIE! In the other questions there is a poor thought process. In this question there is no thought process.

5) He's gonna kill him right? (And other predictions)
I honestly do not understand this one. Let's say you had never seen Star Wars: A New Hope. As a side note there are actually people out there who haven't. Having not seen it, you would be pissed if we started watching it and when they first introduced Obi Wan I said, "Darth Vader is going to kill that guy." You would be like, "Hey I don't want you to spoil it for me!" Why then, during their duel would someone ask if he was going to get killed? This goes for other questions like "Is he gonna make it?" "That's not really him, right?" "Did that work?" The whole point of a movie is to experience it and find out for yourself. Otherwise it would be just someone telling you a story.