Life lessons from Marvel comics

Marvel comics, as well as their representations in other media, are a treasured part of my past, present, and, wallet-willing, future. The exploits of various heroes has made a great impact on my mind. With that impact, Marvel has taught me many things. The following are five examples.

1.) Even cool people have problems.
Looking at the popular kids in school or the celebrities in Hollywood can create a great misconception in one's mind. They seem to live such charmed lives. How can anything bad happen to them? Very easily as it turns out. Marvel provided examples of Heroes struggling not just against their foes but also their flaws. Iron Man had his alcoholism, Spiderman has had financial problems, and countless heroes, including Vision, Mr. Fantastic, and Captain America, have had problems being emotionally available to the ladies because of their profession. Just because you have powers it doesn't mean you don't have problems.

2.) False Geography
Ever try to find the island of Genosha on a map? With all the places that exist in the real world, Marvel found it necessary to fill my head with places that don't exist. I think for a small time I thought Madripoor was a real place. It sounds like it could be real.

3.)Even cool things can be turned lame
There are some sweet Marvel movies out there! There are also some very lame ones. I didn't think it was possible to make Ghost Rider lame. The dude wears all leather, fights with chains, rides a motorcycle, and has a skull for a head, that's on fire! When the movie came it it was revealed that all who are high can be brought down. My post concerning comic book tv shows is further evidence of this.

4.) Tolerance
Marvel comics made accepting people so much easier. The persecution of the mutants in X-Men showed how important tolerance is. How could anyone who has seen the way the mutants were treated in the comics want to perform such actions in real life? Marvel also presented a hero of every type of background. Every minority in America has a patron hero in the Marvel comics. Black people - Luke Cage
Latinos - Sunspot
Jews - The Thing
Purple people - Blink

5.) The color pink is not as lame as one might think.
If any one color were associated with the word "dainty," what would it be? Pink spells weakness. Marvel has taught that in the grand scheme of things pink is not so bad. Some very cool heroes have sported the color in the past. These greats include Archangel and Gambit

Contrary to some popular thought, comics are far from bad for a growing child. They may not always offer the best and most accurate material, but it is better to have Marvel comics filling the brain than nothing at all.

Impressed by video games

There are times when playing video games that I am completely blown away by some aspect of a game. Whether it is the first time this aspect has been utilized, or the first time I have noticed it, a lasting impression has been made. The following are five such examples.

Thrasher: Skate and Destroy for Playstation (1999) This game was generally neglected due to the ease of play and popularity of the Tony Hawk games. Thrasher adds more realism and it's more relateable as the player plays a amateur skaters instead of pros. What really impressed me about this game was the music. When reading Thrasher magazine I would always see ads for punk music. The soundtrack for the game however is nothing but hip hop. And it's the good stuff too. It includes greats like Sugarhill Gang and RUN DMC. This game was actually intrumental in getting me into rap (this was before I found the wonder that is metal). If you like hip hop and skateboarding, this is the perfect game for you.

Metal Gear Solid for the Playstation (1998) There is no one who can deny that MGS is a great game. What really got me about this game was the story. When I first played it I didn't understand a great deal of it. This was the first time I had played a game that was over my head. Prior to this I had no trouble understanding the entirety of a games story. Princess gets captured and you have to save her. Got it. Your bananas have been stolen, you have to get them back. Check. It seems like every time I play this game I discover something new about the plot. As far as story goes, one would have to go into RPGs to find something to compete with MGS.

Devil May Cry for the Playstation 2 (2001)

Some people absolutely love this series while others can't get past the high difficulty and Dante's cocky attitude. What impressed me so much about this game was the graphics. With the jump to Playstation and N64, graphics had certainly improved but it wasn't really impressive as it was also then that a transfer was made from 2d to 3d. One can look at the cripness and vibrant colors of the Donkey Kong Country series on the SNES and be blown away. When one looks at Donkey Kong 64 however, even though it was presented in 3d and on a much more powerful system, it's not spectacular. When Playstation 2 came out, all that changed. The first game that I owned for the PS2 was Devil May Cry. I didn't believe that video game graphics could be this good. I was particularly impressed with the fight with that shadow cat. That looked superb.

The Elder Scrolles 3: Morrowind for the XBOX (2002)

As opposed to Devil May Cry, the graphics in this game disappointed many. One has to admit that the sky and water are portrayed beautifully in this game, but everything else falls short. It's obvious then that it's not the graphics that impressed me with this game. What truly impressed me was the size of the world in Morrowind. It is for this reason that I chose the map from the game as a picture (it can be clicked for a larger image). The area that this game takes place in is huge. There are a large number of cities and towns scattered across the map as well as countless caves and camps. There are ways to travel intantly from one city to another, but if you are short on money you can always walk. Walking from one city to another takes quite a long time because the world is so big. I have often wondered how many hours it would take to go from the southern coast to the northern one.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the Nintendo 64 (1998)
This game is an undeniable classic. I would say that it is overrated, however, it is no less a classic and it is truly a great game. What impressed me so much when playing this game was the ability to ride the horse Epona. I had never done that in a game before. I saw how large the map was (not anywhere as big as morrowind) and I was so glad to have been given a fast form of transportation. Not only can you ride Epona, you can shoot your bow while riding. While riding! This blew my mind! It's true that you don't really utilize it that much in the game but it's inclusion was still very impressive. In the game Gun I feel that riding a horse was near perfected and that the ability to shoot while riding was incorporated much more during the games missions. It was in Ocarinia of Time however, that I first experienced such a thing, and to it goes the credit.

Miracle Whip is Radical

What a historic day! My first post with a video. This little commercial is all about how cool Miracle Whip is. THEY WILL NOT TONE IT DOWN. Give me a break. Miracle Whip, you're mayonaise. You say you aren't, but you are. Get over it. While you're at it, TONE IT DOWN!

Too Cool Villains

Bad guys are bad. Part of being a bad guy, the main part, is being bad. However, some bad guys are really cool. There are some times where the coolness of the bad guys overshadow everything else in the medium they are presented in. This usually happens when someone is just too cool for whatever they are in. As a tribute to such villains, I will be discussing five examples.


Moloch in Gabriel as portrayed by Goran Kleut


I'm afraid that this is the best picture I could find of him. Still though, look at how intense he is! This movie was pretty lame because it had angels fighting against demons. Normally this would be awesome except they have very limited powers and use guns. Guns are cool, but not for angels and demons. This movie is lamesville but the character Moloch was cool. For starters, he was the most demonic-looking demon of the bunch. Also he fought with a knife which means he gets style points. Sadly he was the first enemy to get killed.



Nukus in Big Bad Beetleborgs as portrayed by Christopher Cho

Awesome. Just Awesome. A samurai meets a triceratops. Nukus was so cool that when he came on the scene he ousted the previus villains and became the main bad guy. Beetleborgs was a pseudo Power Rangers rip off. It was inferior because the characters were lame (young), their monster friends were not funny (insert a Jay Leno/Flabber joke yourself, I'm too lazy), and there was not enough giant robots. Regardless, Nukus was wicked cool. By the way, his name was pronounced "Nuke Us."

Lordi in Dark Floors as portrayed by Lordi

Lordi is a Finnish metal band that dress up like monsters. Yeah, that's pretty cool, I know. When I found out they were making a movie I was pumped. My friends said it would be bad and unfortunately they were right. Dark Floors was lacking in that it was not very scary. There was no suspense because if a person went up against a band member you knew they were dead so there was no point hoping they would make it out. One guy gets wounded at first but *SPOILER* he dies later. The movie was lame but Lordi remains super cool.

Goldar in Mighty Morphing Power Rangers as voiced by Kirrigan Mahan

Goldar was so cool! I always thought it was lame that he was a lackey for Rita even though he was a good fifty times cooler. How can you go wrong with an ape-man with red eyes, wings, and gold armor? Plus, he becomes giant sometimes! Goldar was above and beyond everything else in Power Rangers. The first time I remember actually feeling suspense when watching something was during an episode of Power Rangers. Jason couldn't turn into the red ranger and he was hiding from Goldar. I really thought Goldar was gonna kill him. This guy needs to be brought back.

Darth Maul in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace as portrayed by Ray Park

How could I have a list such as this and not mention Darth Maul? The Phantom Menace is easily the worst Star Wars film. Little Anakin and Jar Jar make it very difficult to sit through the whole thing. The shining facet of the film is the villain Darth Maul. Just look at him! So cool. His weapon is not just a lightsaber, but a DOUBLE lightsaber! That's crazy! We all know however that he dies and is never seen again. When finding out the General Grievous in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith was some guy who had his brains and organs living in a robot suit, I thought, " It's gonna be Darth Maul!" It wasn't. In his haste to come up with new stuff and not bring back things that people love, George Lucas made a new character and left Darth Maul to rot.

Laughing in the Kitchen

This is gonna be a small post. There won't even be a picture this time! I was looking at food in the fridge because I was hungry (read: bored), I came across a box of sausage links. On the back were the cooking instructions. They gave directions for how to cook one sausage. One. Who eats one sausage!?! Even as a side you should expect atleast three. I found it quite amusing. I will probably cook the whole box-worth when it comes time to it.

Strange TV Experience

I'm not into the whole "hi def" craze because I don't see what the big deal is. Ok, it's because I can't afford it. Something very strange happened today when I was watching TV on a CRT system. I turned it on and the View was on. I cannot stress enough that I don't watch the View. I'm more of Ellen person. That's a joke. I do not watch the Ellen show either. Seriously, I don't. Let's get back to the topic at hand. So the View was on and there was some dude who was giving Whoopi some electronics. As a small aside, I wonder what Whoopi would look like with eyebrows. So one of the gifts she got was a hi def tv. The tv was playing clips from the view in hi def. For most guys, watching the View in the View would be enough to make their head explode. I was too shocked by what I was seeing to experience any cranial detonations. The tv playing hi def had better resolution than the rest of the shot. It makes no sense but it's true. The low def recording of the hi def tv was of better quality than anything else they recorded. What a world we live in where one can gain better picture by recording a tv than the actual object.

Comic Book Shows: Part 2

Last time, I posted concerning bad comic book shows. This time I will be mentioning the comic book shows that are good and that make the genre worthwhile.

1.) He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (2002) I'm a fan of the 2002 version. The one from the eighties had inferior animation and was nothing more than a 30 minute commercial with strong homosexual overtones. The 2002 version was sweet. It was a 30 minute commercial with epicness. Skeletor looked awesome and is one of the best villains ever.

2.) Wolverine and the X-Men (2009) I admit that I don't like the idea of Wolverine leading the X-Men. This show is pretty good regardless. The style is like a cross between X-Men(1992) and X-Men: Evolution(2000). It's not that "kiddie" which means it's not that bad.

3.) Superman: The Animated Series (1996) Despite the fact that Superman is very lame due to his being over-powered, this show is still great. They always managed to find someone for Superman to slug it out with. In my book, Superman will never be cool, but he has some awesome villains. The series acted like a showcase for Superman villains. They had all the greats like Brainiac, Lobo, Metallo, as well as special guests like Batman and Green Lantern. It was weird, however, that they made Lex Luthor black. I'm against it because he wasn't black in the comics. Why did they make him black? It's really weird. I could think of a lot of things to change about Superman comics but Lex's skin color never came to mind.

4.)Spider-Man (1994) This show was awesome! It had like every Spiderman villain and lots of crossovers with guys like Nick Fury, Punisher, Daredevil, and Blade. Spiderman had narration in all the episodes and always had a witty remark, just like in the comics. The Secret Wars story arc was one of my favorites because it was like the mother of all crossovers. It was not perfect, but it got closer to it than most.

5.)Wild C.A.T.s (1995) This show was a pretty cool and obscure show based on a pretty cool and obscure comic. Both were made by Jim Lee, the man who designed the X-Men costumes that most people tend to remember the best. The characters are pretty cool but the best is the main villain, Helspont. This dude's head was like a black skull engulfed in blue fire. Pretty sweet.

6.) Batman Beyond (1999) This show takes place in the future when Bruce Wayne is too old to still be Batman. At first I did not like the idea of this show but the end result cannot be denied as great. The action is really good and the villains are cool. Mr. Freeze even shows up! This is probably the only good show where the hero is in high school. Some how they pulled it off for once.

7.) Big Guy and Rusty (1999) This series differs a lot from the comic book it's based on, by Frank Miller. It tells of an advanced robot named Rusty who is the size of, and has the maturity of, a small boy. To help raise and train him they use Big Guy, the world's most famous robot. The only thing is that Big Guy is not a robot but actually an advanced battle suit. The pilot of the suit poses as Big Guy's mechanic and only a few no about the secret. It's a cool show because it has Big Guy using a crazy arsenal of weapons against robots and aliens. Also, the voice of Rusty is supplied by the same person who does Bobby Hill.

8.) X-Men (1992) It is debatable that this was the best comic book cartoon ever made. The X-Men comics had so many characters and many of them were included in the show. The action was awesome and the style was straight out of the comics. I still remember Sabertooth looking like pure evil. The theme song was great and very memorable even though it had no lyrics. Very epic and very awesome. Jubilee was annoying and that is probably the only fault in this show.

9.) The Tick (1994) This show was funny in a completely ridiculous way. The heroes and the villains were so bizarre. The show was not particularlly "kiddie," it was just silly. There was a villain with a chair for a head. Not on his head, as his head. The series was funny and well made.

10.) Batman: The Animated Series (1992) This show is incredible! All of Batman's villains are included and some of them, like Lockdown and Harley Quinn, got their start in the series. Mark Hamil does the voice of the Joker and one could not ask for a greater laugh. The series was so good that the producers were surprised at how many adult viewers they had. The series is a product of good animation, style, writing, and voice work. I'm including in this entry The New Batman Adventures because it was a continuation of the series with changed style to be more like Superman. Even the change in style could not make this a bad show. Some villains, like Scarecrow, actually looked cooler with the change. One of my favorite episodes, "Heart of Ice" with Mr. Freeze, was an Emmy winner. This series was simply amazing.

Comic Book Shows

Today I caught a bit of the Super Hero Squad show and realized that the children of today are missing out on good cartoon shows featuring super heroes. This is not something particularly new, as it has been happening for years. I'm going to list 10 comic book shows that came out tell what was wrong with them.

1.) Super Hero Squad (2009) The show has the cool idea of having the Avengers and the Fantasic Four team up against the allied power of some awesome villains like Thanos and Doctor Doom. The problem is that the style is way to "kiddie." The fact that you can see Iron Man's eyes and face behind his mask alone ruins it for me.

2.) The Avengers: United They Stand (1999) Here's a great idea, let's have an Avengers show but exclude all of the fan favorites like Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, and Thor. Why? It makes no sense. It would be like making a Star Wars show without Luke Skywalker or Han Solo. To be fair, Captain America and Iron Man did each make a cameo, but that is not enough. Thor was gonna be in the second season but it got canceled. Big surprise.

3.) The Batman (2004) The villains in the series were all redesigned which in some cases, mainly Joker, this was cool. Overall, however, the demeanor of the villains is less than evil and too "kiddie." The series is just not that enjoyable to watch and pales in comparison to the Animated Adventures of Batman and Robin. Plus I'm not digging the short hood ears on Batman.

4.) Iron Man: Armored Adventures (2009) This series is all CGI and has a cell-shaded look to it making it seem like a comic come to life. That is pretty cool but it's about Tony Stark as a teenager. Solid crap. The Tony Stark we all know and love is a womanizing alcoholic with a goatee. Iron Man does not have a curfew.

5.) Fantastic Four (1994) This show was not all bad. It was actually just half bad. It aired for two seasons and the first one sucked hard. The style and animation was crappy and Doctor Doom looked super lame. For the second season they had much improved animation, style, plot, and Doom looked cool. I can't get over how Namor looked in the first season, flying in the air with his ankle-wings flapping.

6.) Static Shock (2000) Start with a not particularly well known super hero, then take away any coolness aspect you can. I don't want to stat a big thing about being culturally sensitive and all that but does the black teenager have to have braids? Anyways, the show was lame, let's move on.

7.) Spiderman Unlimited (1999) This show only lasted for one season. Why, you ask? Becasue they took Spiderman off of planet Earth where all of his villains are. Instead, the viewer was given "counter-earth" version of some of the villains. No thank you. I want the real deal. I want it on Earth, where it matters.

8.) The Spectacular Spiderman (2008) Normally I would not object to a cartoon, in particular a cartoon based off a comic, being to "cartoony." It just doesn't work in this show. It looks kind of like if Clerks the cartoon show was about spiderman. Like Tony Stark in the Iron Man show, Peter Parker is in high school. Why do that? It's just going to make kids upset when they get to high school and don't get bit by radioactive spiders.

9.) Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008) Batman teams up with various super heroes to solve crime and fight bad guys. Sound cool but it's not. The style is beyond crappy. It seems like they were pushing for old-timey style with as little detail as possible. The action is terrible as the fighting is mostly cartoon-like (think throw bomb, explosion, enemy is no longer there). Once again, short hood ears are lame. The longa the betta.

10.) Teen Titans (2003) Oh I saved this special crap stain for last. It's worse than high school. All the "super heroes" are like preteens. How bad does your teem have to be when Robin is your leader. Just seeing or hearing the character Beast Boy makes me angry. The show starts sucking before it even starts. The theme song is from some J Pop band called Puffy. It certainly sets the crap-stage by annoying you before you even start watching. This show has no redeemable qualities. I saw an episode where it looked like the bad guy was going to win and I got so excited. He cut off one of the characters arms and legs. There was no way he could have lost. The bad guy was going to win and I was all for it. Then, I guess, the character Cyborg wanted his limbs back and they reformed and he saved the day. That is actually how it happened. Weak.

Next time I'll have a list of 10 comic book shows that were solid awesome!

Video Game Review: Halo

Two months and five days. It has been a long time. I'm seriously gonna try to make posts more often. Enough apologies, on to the post.I think I should first start out by saying that I am not a fan of Halo. I think the first game was the best and that any improvements, or "improvements," made in its sequels do not make them better than the original. I feel that Halo was a good game. That's it. Not great, certainly not a killer app, just good. I realize how bold a claim that is so I will do my best to defend it.

Firstly I would like to point out what I like about Halo. I realize it is completely inconsequentialbut I like the cover. The composition is cool and it's all shiny. For the game itself, I think the art department did a great job. Master Chief looks cool, so do all the covenant forces, in particular the elites. I like how the rocket launcher can fire two rounds before reloading. That makes it quite devastating if you're accurate and forgiving if you're not. I also like the pistol. It's nice to know that .50 Cal handguns will be cool even in the future. For the time, the graphics were very impressive. The voice acting was very professional, and the musical score was great.

On to what was bad. The overall experience of shooting bad guys was not very enjoyable. As much as I liked the design of the covenant, most of the ones you fight are so short that you spend most of the time bending over to hit them. This might sound like hardly an issue but it sullies the experience and was unnecessary. There is no reason why the majority of the enemies could not be the same size as you. The elites, who are the same size, have a shield which makes fighting them tedious unless you have a covenant weapon. Master Chief is only allowed to carry two weapons at a time which makes sense and adds a sense of realism to Halo as well as strategy. In the end I did not care for this aspect because it meant I had to carry the weapons that were overall the best for the situation as opposed to the one I enjoyed using. I was under the impression that that was the whole point of the game, to enjoy it. I didn't like the covenant's weapons but found myself carrying them because they killed aliens faster. Once you encounter the Flood the number of weapons you get to choose to carry drops down to one because the other slot has to be occupied by the shotgun if you wish to survive. Oh, the Flood. They were the least enjoyable enemy to face. They are like zombies but without all the good stuff. They are fast, they carry weapons (sometimes rocket launchers), and if they swing at you there is no dodging it. The absolute worst part about the Flood is that sometimes they go down, but they don't die. They just pop right back up, usually behind you.

It was quite rare at the time of Halo's release for a player to be able to control vehicles in a first person shooter. The inclusion of this feature was not worth it because the vehicles are horrible. The reason for this is the controls. Halo opted for controling the vehicles via the two analog sticks. This, I assume, was because the player would already have their fingers in positon for this, making it an easy transition from on foot to driving. The result is less than acceptable. In the Grand Theft Auto series (games I have my complaints about yet still consider them great games, perhaps even killer apps) one controls acceleration with a button and steering with a control stick. This frees the other control stick to be used for controlling the players view. It works perfectly. This is not the case with Halo. If you want to see what's on your left, you either have to stop and look or head straight for it. Also the physics are genuinely terrible. I have a special gripe to pick with everyone's favorite 4X4, the warthog. For an all-terrain vehicle it has next to no traction. It's like its wheels were made out of plastic.

We're almost done. These next complaints are concerning comments on the game's case. I have the version with the game of the year badge on it (quite the undeserved award). The case features plenty of praise by various video game reviewers. "One of the best shooters ever!" says Videogames.com. I'm not huge in the FPS genre but I think Battlefield 1942, Unreal Tournament, and Doom 2 were better by a lot. I even had more fun playing Red Faction 2 than Halo. "This is the most important launch game for any console, ever." says Edge magazine. Really? Ever? I don't think any launch game will equal Super Mario World for the SNES. I can do one even better. I'm gonna name a game that not only have I never played it and know it's better, it was also an Xbox launch title. Tony Hawk 2X. The great game for the previous generation with updated graphics, added levels , and custom sound tracks. You might ask, "why are you so against the Halo series?" My reason is very simple. Peopl seem to love this game for no particualr reason. The games are truly not that great. That was long.