The hidden truth about koalas

Oh, look at it. Cute, right? Wrong. Koala bears are not cute if you know their past. An almost sure-fire way to think an animal is no longer cute is to see it have sex. You never look at it the same way. The answer is yes I have seen koala bears have sex and no I did not want to see it. The animal show I was watching on tv switched to a different kind of music and then started playing footage of every animal imaginable being "intimate." Alas, that is not the reason I make the bold claim that koala bears are not cute. The true reason requires a look into the early days of a koala's life. Everybody knows that koala bears eat eucalyptus leaves. The babies drink their mothers' milk. If they went from milk to leaves I wouldn't have a problem with them. Did you know that eucalyptus is poisonous? Adult koala's produce an enzyme that protects them from the poison. What about the little kid koalas that stop drinking milk? I'm gonna tell you. I can't stress enough that this is true and I have seen it (I wish I hadn't). The kid koala actually eats its mothers poop. Let that sink in. The diet goes from milk, to poop, to leaves. Look at that critter, knowing what its done, and tell me that thing is cute. It ate poop!

The Ads of Evony

Anyone who travels the internet in search of anything relating to video games is familiar with the ads for Evony. Evony is game that can be played in the user's web browser and from the looks of it is pretty lame. How can the Evony-people get people to play their game then. The answer is highly suggestive advertising. I've posted here some of the ads that I've seen on my web travels.

Oh crap, the queen is in danger! The queen is wearing a bit of a low-cut dress but that's not that big of a deal. The real concern is why the letter "Y" is trying to stab her boob.

Ok, they are really going for that low-cut thing. Notice that they didn't even mention the queen. What they did say however was that you could play "DISCREETLY." For what purpose? The game is about ruling a city and battling people and junk. The game itself has nothing that needs to be done discreetly. Ok, let's move on.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Seriously? Just boobs? At least with the previous ads the boobs were attached to a fantasy/medieval woman. This time - just boobs. And apparently the game is the "best." One more ad to go.

You have got to be kidding me. When I first saw this ad I thought it was for a porn site or something. What does this have to do with anything? At least the boobs one was funny. This thing is just a blurry naked chick. Oh Evony, you are wasting your advertising budget. They should hire me. I could come up with classy Evony ads. I can see it now...


Oh yeah! My ad would be way different.